Somewhere between worrying about melting ice sculptures and finding the perfect celebrity bridal gown, people seem to be losing sight of what the real purpose of a wedding is.
Weren’t weddings about bringing two people and two families together rather than having sweaty nightmares about that perfect 7 tiered cake crashing down right before the ceremony? Statistically speaking, marriages that begin with lavish weddings have a higher divorce rate than their more humble counterparts. The reason is really quite simple- expensive weddings equals higher stress levels.
The kind of money that goes into conducting weddings nowadays is quite extraordinary. From inviting a thousand guests to hiring over the top wedding planners, weddings have stopped being a spiritual union of two souls and has instead turned into a large circus. The sole purpose of weddings seems to have become impressing the society with expensive frills and fancies. Once the illusion of that magical big wedding is gone and the couple is left with nothing but a large wedding debt, the tension and resentment begins. More often than not this results in nasty divorce proceedings.
The kind of expenses people choose to indulge in is getting more absurd with each passing wedding.
People are looking for new ways to make their wedding more unique and special. In the process, they convert the wedding to a fancy dress party. Hawaiian Hula Dancers, the Oscars, Avatar- People can be really creative when they try. Quite recently, a couple decided that they wanted to get married under water. In the process of trying to make their wedding ‘special’, are people forgetting the original theme of a wedding where two people are to exchange sacred vows that will bind them together for life?
More often than not, the reason for a wedding to be blown out of proportion is a mother who ‘just wants the best for her children’. It just so happens that that best involves a string quartet, a hoard of wedding photographers and puppies as return gifts for the guests. Is it too cruel to tell your mother that it really isn’t her wedding and that it is necessary that she takes it easy?
When the groom pretends like it really is just the bride’s wedding for which he is merely a banker, we’ve got a problem. Throwing money at your problems doesn’t usually make the problems go away, and lesson holds good for the rest of your married life.
Fits of rage and hysteria isn’t necessarily the best way to start one’s marital life. An over the top wedding is bound to have over the top issues (and remember that a big beautiful wedding is not the same as an over the top wedding). The problem arises when the stress of failure hits the bride and turns her into the monster from your worst nightmare.
Apart from the stress levels breaking the matrimonial tie of couples who choose over the top weddings instead of focusing on love and their union, there are other reasons. One common reason is that the bride and sometimes the groom visualise the perfect wedding day that both have dreamt about all their lives. But somehow the excitement of that perfect wedding clouds their judgement, that’s where the problem starts.
Don’t forget to let love take over, and let the same guide you to make wedding planning decisions that will make the both of you happy in the long run. Be minful and cautious, don’t let your wedding become bigger than your marriage.